As we enter a transitioning time between warmer and colder months the festivals and celebrations of ancestors and loved one’s passed emerge. Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead where we bring food and gifts to the dead; Samhain, the Celtic word for Summer’s End, marked a time to pay homage to the deceased; and many more. Celebrations for the dead span across the world. The traditions vary from culture to culture, region to region and family to family. Food and offerings to be shared with the departed. Bells to ring in spirits, drums to guide their footsteps, fires to open doorways and windows. Alters to pay respects and remembrance. Dances and songs to entice their presence. Stories of lore, love, laughter, and life.
Honoring our ancestors helps us feel grounded in our own histories. But it also reminds us that we are connected through our ancestors to the rest of the web of life: all humans, animals, plants, fungi, and so on. Once we have developed that relationship through ritual and reflection, we can begin to ask for their blessings. And they will begin to offer us guidance, helping us make better decisions to benefit the generations that are to come.
As you begin working on your relationship with your ancestors, there are several things you are likely to encounter.
Coincidences, synchronicities, and dreams. These will increase in frequency and weirdness. Typically, they should be pleasant and rewarding: a chance meeting that leads to a new opportunity, a coincidence that reminds you of a happy childhood memory with you grandfather, a dream that prompts you to call your mother right when she’s about to call you. It’s good to pay attention to these, especially when they delight you. But it’s also important not to pay too much attention to any particular sign. It’s easy for people on a magical path to go down a rabbit hole of synchronicity that can lead to obsession
A shift in your relationship with your living family. The spirit world is like a mirror: everything you do is reflected there, somewhere. As you reach backward, your ancestors—including the strongest, most loving ones, sometimes millennia removed from the present—reach forward. And when your fingertips meet, the generations in between fall in line. As the whole collective heals itself, you’ll notice your living family changing as well. You don’t need to tell family members about your ancestor veneration practice for them to benefit from it, but I have found that politely asking your relatives about the people they knew and loved who came before can be a profound experience.
More information about your ancestors and their cultures will likely find its way to you. This is not necessarily something you need to seek out. You’ll randomly find genealogical information, flyers for dance classes, and used cookbooks in the strangest places. If you are starting with less information about your ancestors than you would like, trust that anything truly important for you to know will find its way to you. Remember: You’re not in this alone, your ancestors have your back.
Remember…your only job is to be a good ancestor…
Such a beautiful and wise perspective! I’ve been visiting family graves with my parents and hearing new stories about my ancestors’ lives these past few months. My dad even gave me a scrapbook that my grandma made 80 or more years ago and I feel her presence when I hold it and look at the photos she placed. I also keep finding things in antique stores that remind me of my grandparents. All of this settles my soul and reconnects me to the family who created me.